IIt's All in God's Hands

 Sister DeVictoria writing:

Well, we have gone on a roller coaster ride of diagnoses (I had to look up how to spell that) for Elder DeVictoria.  The first diagnosis was Cluster headache.  Then he developed Shingles.  Then another doctor said he thought there was never cluster headache, just shingles.  But now the shingles is cleared up and we are back to cluster headaches.  So the neurologist was right, that he has been suffering with both cluster headaches AND shingles.  We saw the doctor this week and he gave new medicines, but we didn't see any improvement so we went back to the doctor.  He wasn't on call so we saw a different neurologist who prescribed three new medicines.  One of those he said might just suddenly kick in and stop the headaches.  But so far that hasn't happened.  We are up to day...I think 24 of Elder DeVictoria being ill.  It sure is taking it's toll on him.  If he doesn't get well very soon we are going to have to consider being sent home.

One blessing is that there is a senior couple in our mission who are uniquely trained to step in and help do Elder DeVictoria's duties.  Of course things in this mission are done differently from businesses, so they still have to ask for help about how things are done in the church system.  Also there is a blessing that there is a couple who were previously in our roles who are Taiwanese, and I think if needed they could step in until replacements are found.  Another blessing is that we now have a mission health advisor who arrived in August.  He has been giving us some great medical advice.

This all comes down to the subject I have been thinking about most during all of this which is "faith".  We always hear that faith precedes the miracle.  "With God all things are possible".  "Ask and ye shall receive".  Sometimes I guilt myself in to thinking that maybe I just don't have enough faith for a miracle healing for him.  Then other times I remind myself that all things are in God's hands and if we are meant to be here, Elder DeVictoria will get better.  I can't see the big picture.  I don't know if there is some other reason that we would need to go home.  We felt drawn to come to Taiwan, and we have felt all along that in our lives we have had a sort of mission connected with Taiwan and China.  While we have been here, we have felt many times that we are meant to be here.  We have been given many opportunities to serve and to be of influence on others.  

When I first came to Taiwan I was dealing with tendinitis in my knee.  I really struggled with pain for about 4 months.  I was going through the same faith crisis wondering if I just didn't have enough faith to be healed.  But then one day the thought came to me that at least I have the faith to NOT be healed.  In other words, I have faith that if I am not healed, then it is God's will.  There must be something I am supposed to learn from the experience.  So too, now with Elder DeVictoria I don't know if I have the faith needed for a miracle healing, but I do have faith that if he isn't healed, then it is God's will.  

I should add that MULTIPLE people have been praying for Elder DeVictoria.  His name has been on the prayer roll of MULTIPLE temples.  He has received two Priesthood blessings.  So because of all of this, I feel even more strongly that it is all in God's hands.  

One huge blessing for me lately is that the weather has turned a little cooler.  I was walking a long way one day and thought about how it didn't really seem that hard to walk.  Then it occurred to me that it was because it wasn't hot out!  We have had a LOT of thunder showers recently.  Here is a picture of the dark sky.

One of our service missionaries finished her 18 month mission this week.  She has such a cheery disposition, everyone who worked with her will miss her.  This picture was taken at the Distribution center where she often volunteered.  

 

 

Last Sunday was our stake conference here.  I got to the chapel and the meeting started with some youth conducting the meeting!  Then at one point the visiting general authority had a question and answer period!  I had never attended a stake conference like this before!  It wasn't until near the end of the meeting that I realized I was attending the special early morning youth meeting.....  Senior moments happen to the best of us I guess.  Since Elder DeVictoria was sleeping alot that morning I stayed for the next two hours of conference.  

Elder DeVictoria: (Sister DeVictoria typing)

Well, this has been the strangest event of my life. These head pains are so intense when they flair up, that all other thoughts can not be thought.  These tortuous stabbing pains in the brain take over all else.  Now being on day 24 and looking back over these days it's amazing how this ailment has shut me down.  If I get in to anything too complicated in my work, then the pain just flares up and I cannot do anything for several hours while I recover.  Fortunately these pains are exactly the same every time.  The same locations, sequence and duration.  So I have kind of gotten use to it, but they are so painful that I can't do anything else but grit my teeth and get through it.  And when the pain is gone, there is practically no pain left over at all.  But this whole process really does shake up my ability to think and focus.  The other day I was speaking on the phone with the couple, the Millingtons who are at the office for a few days to take over my job, just to explain to them what to do.  With so much intense focus on my part, after about 30 or 40 minutes and I was at the end and the pain would come on.  So I would say good bye and hang up the phone and the pain would just completely take over my head.  Yesterday I couldn't speak to them even once.  Obviously I can't go on like this.  I have faith in Christ to heal me.  

Sister DeVictoria writing again:

Since I first started this week's blog, the mission health advisor called and encouraged us to switch to a different doctor.  This one specializes in headaches.  He and his wife have set up an appointment for Elder DeVictoria to see this doctor.  Also we just received our National Health Insurance cards, so the visits will be much cheaper.  

"But that ye have patience, and bear with those afflictions, with a firm hope that ye shall one day rest from all your afflictions."  Alma 34:41

No Way Out But Through

 Sister DeVictoria writing:

This week Elder DeVictoria had another appointment with his neurologist.  He walked in to the room and sat down and the doctor looked at the rash on his face and said, "You have Zoster!"  (Shingles)  Elder DeVictoria's eye is quite swollen and red, so he sent him to an opthalmologist.  That doctor said that he thinks this was NEVER a cluster headache, but was Shingles all along.  I got the name of the nerve wrong last time, it is called the trigeminal nerve.  It runs along the side of the head.  You can see from the picture why this all started with some tooth pain.

 

Even our mission health advisor couldn't understand how he was diagnosed with cluster headache when his symptoms didn't fit that diagnosis.  Instead of a series of headaches, it was a one week long headache with no break.  Thanks to a friend of mine who had shingles, I decided that wasn't something I ever wanted to get and a couple of years ago went and got the vaccine for it.  Now I'm so thankful because I don't see how two of us could have this at the same time.  Elder DeVictoria has really suffered with this.  He no longer has the constant headache, but some of the medication makes him tired and dizzy.  Sometimes he has trouble sleeping at night.  This is a slow recovery because it involves an inflamed nerve, but he is making baby steps of improvement.  Update:  Yesterday Elder DeVictoria had a stab of pain in his head that was far worse than any he had experienced to date.  I had been preparing to go to the evening session of Stake conference, but after that ordeal I didn't dare leave him alone.  Then early this morning he had two more incidents of that excruciating pain.  I hope when he sees the doctor tomorrow they can give him some help.  I did ask the mission president to come over and give him another blessing.  That did give us hope that there will be an end to this.  He is thinking that maybe he will ask one of the MLS couples to come in to the office for a week or two to help do Elder DeVictoria's responsibilities until he gets feeling better. 

This week we had a 6 week followup meeting for new missionaries and a Mission Leader Council meeting.  I had to arrange food for those two meetings.  I just ordered Subway sandwiches and bought some fruit.  I have to buy the fruit the morning of the luncheon because I don't have a place to store it all.  I can't put it in the church fridge because the church here is kind of like a community center.  People come almost every night to play sports in the gym and hang out.  Food put in the fridge sometimes get eaten.  So I just go buy it the morning of the luncheon.  I asked Elder Chang and Sister Ye who are service missionaries to help me cart the paper goods and water jug over to the chapel.  They have been such a big help for me and Elder Chang has also done quite a bit of translation work for the mission.  Here is a picture of him and Sister Ye.  We took them out to lunch one day for Elder Chang's birthday. 

 

I also had to go to Immigration twice this week and will have to go again on Monday.  This week there were fewer people in line so I didn't have to stay quite as long.  We got in a group of 13 missionaries and I had to register 12 of them.  I also had some missionaries who have been in Taiwan for a year so needed renewal.  But I didn't get two of the items I needed so will have to go Monday.   

We are going to start teaching Institute (English) again this week.  We will be studying the Book of Mormon along with the Chinese Institute.  I'm not sure if Elder DeVictoria will be able to attend or not, but I will go alone if needed.  One of the nice things about being senior missionaries is that we don't have the same rules as the young missionaries.  We can do anything a regular member can do. 

Today was stake conference.  I saw on the ward communication app that it started at 10:00.  So I went over at ten, but it was the strangest stake conference I ever saw.  There were youth conducting the meeting, and at one point the visiting general authority did a question and answer session.  I don't always understand everything said in talks, so I kind of missed some of it.  Near the end of the meeting I realized I was at the Pre-conference Youth fireside!  The general session started at 11:00!  Duh.....  Elder DeVictoria was sleeping pretty soundly when I left so I felt comfortable leaving him alone.  We only live about a 2 minute walk away from the chapel.

Here is a picture I borrowed that some Elders took.  I really liked it so snagged it.

And here is a picture from a cool street at the night market.  Not the best picture of me, but the lights are cool.  lol

Well, Elder DeVictoria isn't really up to writing this week, so I will just publish this without him writing.  We appreciate everyone who has prayed for him and put his name in the temple.  There will be an end to this, we just don't have any idea when that will happen.  But we feel we have been blessed amidst this trial.  Even though it has been difficult, our faith has pulled us through.  

“To exercise faith is to trust that the Lord knows what He is doing with you and that He can accomplish it for your eternal good even though you cannot understand how He can possibly do it. We are like infants in our understanding of eternal matters and their impact on us here in mortality. Yet at times we act as if we knew it all. When you pass through trials for His purposes, as you trust Him, exercise faith in Him, He will help you. That support will generally come step by step, a portion at a time. While you are passing through each phase, the pain and difficulty that comes from being enlarged will continue. If all matters were immediately resolved at your first petition, you could not grow” (“Trust in the Lord,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 17).  Elder Richard G. Scott

Hit the Wall

 Elder DeVictoria writing:

This week we hit the hardest wall of our mission yet.  On Sunday the pain from my head and eye was so intense that I had to go to the hospital.  I went to the Seventh Day Adventist hospital which is open on Sundays (because of course they think the Sabbath is on Saturday, so Sunday for them is a normal day of operation).  So we went in and it was kind of miraculous.  They have a special department that treats foreigners that aren't on the National Health plan (we aren't yet) and therefore we are paying cash.  They took us to a special intake lounge that is super comfortable.  Everyone speaks English.  They scheduled us to see a general practitioner.  An aide walked us down, opening all the doors, pushing all the elevator buttons, showing us the way.  When we got to the station, we didn't have to get a ticket and wait our turn in line, we went right to the front of the line and within a few minutes we were sitting in front of the doctor.  The doctor said, "Well, you may have sinusitis/a sinus infection, but that would require antibiotics that would be best taken intravenously, and that would require being admitted to the hospital.  Why don't I refer you first to the Ear, Nose and Throat specialist right now to check you." So we walked to the next department and again we got the same treatment, went straight to the front of the line and went right in. The doctor looked in my nose, looked at my eyes, looked at my throat and teeth and said, "Okay, let's get an x-ray of your head."  Away we went to the x-ray station in the basement.  Again we went right to the front of the line.  They took the x-rays and we went back to the ENT.  When I got back he was reviewing the x-rays on the screen, he spins around and says to me "You have no infection, there is no mucus problem, I suspect this is a neurological condition, you need to be referred to Neurology."  So off to the Neurology department.  Again we stepped right in, in front of 15-20 patients waiting in the lobby.  Within 2 minutes of explaining my symptoms, when it started and what's going on, he said, "I think you have a cluster headache."  We went though on-by-one all of the typical symptoms and I had all of them. Stabbing pain that comes in waves.  All on one side of the face.  Centered on the eye on one side, going up to the forhead and down to the cheeks or upper teeth.  Going out to the temple area.  And generating a lot of tears in the eye, with the eye really red and swollen.  Then he whipped right around and wrote out a prescription for about 7 different medicines that included steroids, anti-inflamatories/pain pills, stomach protectants, and as an option an anti-seizure medication.  And that was it.  Upon check out we were presented a bill for about $600 dollars which I paid with my credit card. That includes all the x-rays and medicines and diagnoses.  I took altogether about 2.5 hours

That night the pain was extreme, and the next day too.  On Tuesday I decided we needed to go see him again.  When we went in he was surprised to see us.  But this time he could see that I looked much worse.  I was much worse.  I was so miserable Sister DeVictoria had to push me in a wheelchair.  

 

I explained that I had not been able to sleep and was in unbearable pain, the worst pain of my life.  He said, "Okay, I can increase the dosage of the anti-inflammatory medicine / pain meds to the maximum, and I can also give you a "shot".  I said, "Okay, give me the "shot" and he said, "Okay but I'm also going to do a blood test to make sure there isn't anything else we might have missed."  And I was already scheduled for a brain MRI on Thursday.  He gave me the shot and we went home.  By the time I got out of the taxi I was so dizzy I could barely stand up.  I lurched upstairs and crashed in to bed and slept for about 6 hours.  It felt so good!  I made it through to the MRI experience which was fine.  By this time in fact the pain had started to subside with the one "shot" and with the increased dosages. Slowly, gradually it went down and down.  On Friday I finally went in to the office to do some financial work for about an hour.  It had been over a week since I had been back in the office.  Then I spent a couple of hours in the office on Saturday.  That brings us to today, Sunday and I feel a lot better.  My next doctor visit is tomorrow.  I think I'm nearing the end of this.  About 10 days of misery.

Sister DeVictoria:

Elder DeVictoria said this was the hardest week of our mission, but I think it was the hardest week of our  marriage!  As we traced this illness, I remembered that it kind of started with tooth pain.  I was very worried that he had an infection in his teeth that had spread to his brain!  I felt this could be life threatening!  I prayed a lot for help.  When the doctor said there was no infection, I was so relieved!  And when the neurologist immediately said it was a cluster headache, I felt so grateful that we finally had a diagnosis!  I felt the Lord helped us all along the way to get good care, even though Elder DeVictoria suffered for one long week.  He didn't eat, he couldn't sleep.  He was reaching the end of his rope.  Now I finally see the old Paul coming back.  Today I notice a big difference in the rash, swelling of the eye, and his overall state of being.  

 

One thing he didn't mention was that along with the pain in his eye, the large nerve on that side of the face, the triseminal nerve, probably was causing the tooth pain and caused the left side of his face and head to be covered with a rash.  With cluster headaches they happen on one side of the head, and with the rash you can see almost a dividing line.  Our health advisor in our mission said that with cases like this, it is important to get immediate care.  Because he didn't, the nerves got inflamed and it took awhile for them to calm down.  Even though this was a terrible trial to get through, I have felt the Lord's help and guidance.  

Throughout this ordeal I have often thought of the words of this hymn, "How Firm a Foundation":

1. How firm a foundation, ye Saints of the Lord,

Is laid for your faith in his excellent word!

What more can he say than to you he hath said,

Who unto the Savior, who unto the Savior,

Who unto the Savior for refuge have fled?

 

2. In ev’ry condition—in sickness, in health,

In poverty’s vale or abounding in wealth,

At home or abroad, on the land or the sea—

As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.

 

3. Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,

For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.

I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,

Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

 

 4. When through the deep waters I call thee to go,

The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o’erflow,

For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,

And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

The word "succor" in this hymn kept coming to me. The one thing I have learned in my life is that true relief and comfort come from the Savior.  Even when what we have to experience is terrible, there can be a ray of peace and hope that helps us have the strength to get through it.  Trials like this refine us and as the song says, "sanctify" us.  They also help us to turn to God for help, which helps us develop a closer relationship with Him. 

At the very end of the pain for Elder DeVictoria, I developed tendonitis in my shoulder.  For whatever reason, my body just always chooses tendonitis.  This is the 5th time I have gotten it.  I kind of know the drill and just tried to immobilize it.  Elder DeVictoria helped me dress because I couldn't raise my arm.  Our health advisor in the mission coached me on how much Ibuprofen to take.  Yesterday on P-day I suddenly felt a sort of release in my shoulder and since then it has started feeling better!  I am very thankful!  I questioned whether I would be able to play the organ for church, but I kept practicing to see if I could raise my arms and found that I could.  I was able to play without any problem.  My healing is also happening!  

We got in new missionaries and the 7 new Elders stayed at our apartment for two nights.  Some of them looked a little shell shocked.  Mission rules, a new culture, leaving home for perhaps the first time, learning a language etc. can be very stressful.  It's amazing how quickly they adapt to this mission pace though.  We also have two missionaries leaving.  I snagged a couple of pictures that the President shared with the mission.  One is of the group inside the entry of the temple.  One is of the group on a bus headed to the Grand Hotel to discuss that this was the place where Taiwan was dedicated for the preaching of the gospel.  They also went to the night market.  

And finally, no food pics this week, but I have another flower pic.  :)  

Alma 7:12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

 

In the Midst of Affliction

 

Sister DeVictoria writing:

Some days I wake up and wonder what I can find to do in the office that day and worry that I won't have anything to do.  Silly me....  I seem to always be busy lately.  Just when I think I'm caught up, something else comes along.

 

One of the tasks I had this week was to give the Church Area office photos from every missionary that is now serving or has served under the Whiteleys.  I will need to continue to give them photos each month as new missionaries come in.  I'm not sure what they will do with them because they said they didn't need names.  I did name each picture, but it makes me wonder if they will do some kind of slide show or something when the Whiteleys are released.  I did the same for the Yangs, thinking they would show them a slide show, but I never saw one.

 

On Sunday Elder DeVictoria and I substituted for the "New Member/ Friend" class at church.  The teacher had told us that he would be out of the country for a long time, so we expected him to be gone longer.  He actually came on Sunday, but because his voice was not in good shape he had us go ahead and teach.

We also said goodbye to Sam Sunday morning.  It was fun to have him here, and I'm glad he could see what our life here is like.  I think he got a good feeling for the island in all of his traveling around.

 

 On Saturday before he left we went out to eat at a Korean restaurant.  I love Korean food!  This first picture is Jia Jiang noodles.  You mix all of that up together.  We shared this dish.

Here in this photo with Sam you can see we had several kinds of Kimchi.  Nappa cabbage kimchi or Daikon radish kimchi are my favorites.

I shamelessly borrowed this photo from a senior couple serving at the very bottom tip of the island.  These are the missionaries serving there.  The one on the far left, Elder Geis, flew to Taiwan with us.  

Elder DeVictoria writing:

This week has been a very hard week for me.  It's the week when I've had to pay the rent for all of the apartments and there was a heavy load of reimbursements for missionaries.  In addition we are opening seven new apartments which requires a lot of work.  After Sam went home on Monday morning, I returned to the office and started working.  On Wednesday my eye starting becoming infected.  On Thursday I went to an opthalmologist.  She said I have conjunctivitis.  After I started taking the medicine it seemed like it got worse and worse.  On Friday I didn't even leave the apartment.  Now it's Saturday and I'm starting to feel a little better, but still a lot of pain.  It seems like whenever I moved my eye, which caused much pain in the eye, immediately there would be a surge of mucus into my sinuses.  So I've been suffering with intense sinus pain from the tip of my head down to my lower jaw, all on the left side.  It's finally starting to subside.  What an ordeal.

Sister DeVictoria writing again:

We had two missionaries return home this morning.  One more will return home in about a week.  Many of our missionaries get permission to return home a little early so that they can start a new semester of college on time.  The tradition is that the President and Sis. Whiteley take them to the Grand Hotel to review a letter they wrote there when they first arrived.  It's kind of a dedication letter where they write about their desires to serve the Lord while on their mission.  The Grand hotel is the location where the island of Taiwan was dedicated for the preaching of the gospel.  Another thing they do is go out to eat together with the mission leaders.  The current favorite restaurant for this is an all you can eat buffet.  At some point in the day they also attend a temple session with the mission leaders.  That is followed up by a testimony meeting, and at some point an exit interview.  It's always bitter sweet for me to see missionaries go home because I am happy for them, but I will miss them, especially those I've gotten to know.

A few days before the last Elder returns home we are getting in about 12 new missionaries.  Then in October we will get even more.  I'm already receiving information for missionaries who are arriving in April.  Some of those missionaries will stay at our house and some will stay at the other senior apartment.  We got in a new senior couple who will be in charge of housing an medical.  Elder Clemons will actually be the medical person for all of Taiwan, so if there is a need in the southern mission, he will help with that.  The couple they are replacing are also finishing their mission in the next week.  They are so talented, they will be sorely missed.

At the Korean restaurant we saw this couple who had a stroller with two dogs in it.  Dog strollers are quite common here.  Poor dogs, I wonder how they ever get any exercise!  If I look a little rough in this picture, it's because it was like 95 degrees outside with high humidity and we had to walk a lot before coming to the restaurant.

 

“Afflictions can soften us and sweeten us, and can be a chastening influence. (Alma 62:41.) We often think of chastening as something being done to punish us, such as by a mortal tutor who is angry and peevish with us. Divine chastening, however, is a form of learning as it is administered at the hands of a loving Father. (Helaman 12:3.)

Elder James E. Faust of the Council of the Twelve has said, "In the pain, the agony, and the heroic endeavors of life, we pass through the refiner's fire, and the insignificant and the unimportant in our lives can melt away like dross and make our faith bright, intact, and strong." (Ensign, May 1979, p. 53.) Elder Faust continued, "This change comes about through a refining process which often seems cruel and hard. In this way the soul can become like soft clay in the hands of the Master." (Ibid.)

It was President Hugh B. Brown who observed, "If we banish hardship we banish hardihood." And, further, "One man's disillusion may be another's inspiration. The same exposure to pain, misery, and sorrow that coarsens the mind and callouses the soul of one may give to another a power of compassionate understanding and humility without which mere achievement remains primitive." (New Era, December 1974, pp. 4-7.)

There are ironies, sometimes sublime ironies, in all of these experiences. We are often at the same time both the worker and him who is being worked. So much is always going on simultaneously. Therefore, as George MacDonald observed, "He who fancies himself a carpenter finds himself but the chisel, or indeed perhaps only the mallet, in the hand of the true workman." (Gifts of the Child Christ, p. 32.)”

(All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience by Neal A. Maxwell.)