Faith Muscles

 Sister DeVictoria writing:

Both Elder DeVictoria and I are having a hard time figuring out what to write today.  I guess I could start with an update on him.  The excruciating headaches that he previously had have stopped, although he is still having pain in the region where the shingles started in his eye and forehead.  But after experiencing the terrible headache pain, this pain is tolerable.  

We went to see the neurologist yesterday.  I so appreciate having the National Health Insurance that subsidizes most of our health care costs, but I have to say that the downside to socialized medicine is that there is a lot of waiting in line and the hospital where Elder DeVictoria stayed is really run down.  I don't want to sound ungrateful, so I won't enumerate the problems with the hospital.  But this is our second time dealing with socialized medicine and it's just not my favorite.  The system here is somewhat better than in China.  In some ways it is the same.  

When we arrived at the hospital for the follow up appointment, I scanned his health card, then we had to go to a machine to have his blood pressure taken and another place to get his height and weight.  Each time we inserted his card in to the machine, then the machine would run automatically.  Then we had to wait in the waiting area until our number was called.  Our number this time was 88, so I didn't know how soon we should show up at the clinic.  I think we got there close to 10 a.m., but had to wait a couple of hours before our number was called.  I really miss having a set appointment where you just show up, and even if you have to wait on the doctor, it's not 2 or 3 hours.  I really like this doctor.  His english is very good and sounds like he studied in America.  I thanked him for saving my husband.

Basically the doctor said that the shingles attack has subsided, although the virus lies dormant in the body and could come back any time.  Elder DeVictoria will need to get the immunization to prevent future attacks.  Right now he is healing from damage to the nerves.  The doctor has no way of knowing how long this healing could take.  It could take 2 weeks, or 3 months, or a year, or it could be permanent.  The doctor did adjust the medication so hopefully Elder DeVictoria won't be so sleepy all the time.  We have a three week followup appointment with

Elder DeVictoria had two blessings that both told him he would get over this quickly, so I'm trying to be positive and have faith, but I have learned in my life that in the eternal scheme of things, "quickly" could be a lot longer than we know.  

On Monday he has an appointment with the opthalmologist.  His eye is still not healed and he has trouble getting it to focus in a straight direction.  It goes kind of cross eyed.  He has double vision much of the time.  I think part of this could be from not using the eye for a month.  So we will see what the opthalmologist can tell us about a prognosis.  Then we will make a decision about whether to stay here in Taiwan or to return to America.

When I think about the possibility of leaving Taiwan, of course I am saddened, but at the same time, I recognize that literally hundreds of people have been praying for Elder DeVictoria.  His name has been on multiple temple prayer rolls.  People have included him in their fasts.  He has received two blessings.  So I really feel it is all in the Lord's hands.  If we end up having to go home, then I feel confident it will be His will.  I can't see all of the pieces and future moves in this grand chess game.  There may be reasons that we don't now know about that would require our returning home.  I have faith that the Lord is in control.  However, that being said, I don't feel I have the faith to apply for a second mission later.  I would be too concerned about the possibility of another health crisis.  Also the process of applying for this mission was very stressful for us.  I just can't do that again with the possibility of it all ending quickly again.  But at the same time I have also learned, as someone once said to me, that there are many ways to serve.  If we end up going home, we will just serve locally in our ward and Stake.  Does that all sound like my faith is weak?  Faith is the only thing that has seen me through this far.  Faith has helped me not to despair.  Faith has given me peace even when everything looked black.

The way I look at faith is that it is like a muscle.  You can't gain faith by reading about it in a book.  You only grow it by having to use it.  You say you want to believe in God?  Okay then, start praying to Him.  As you pray, you will begin to see answers to your prayers and you will come to know that God is real.  You want to gain faith about one of the commandments?  Okay then, start obeying it.  Only then can you see the blessings associated with it.  Only then can your faith actually be strengthened.

A couple of pictures from this week.  This first one is a picture of someone's personal driveway.  I just kind of wonder where they got the monkey thing.

This next picture is of some children walking home from school down a little lane.  I just thought they looked sweet together.

Elder DeVictoria dictating:

I'm here.  I'm going to try to go to church tomorrow.  It's been a few weeks.  My problem is I can't do any work.  I can't read the screens.  And I can't think for more than thirty minutes.  I'm getting better, but it's super slow.  

"Many muscles require exercise in order to be in condition to perform our daily activities. We could expend much mental effort reading and learning about our muscles, but if we think this will make them stronger, we will be very disappointed. Our muscles grow only when we use them.

I have come to realize that spiritual gifts behave in the same way. They also need to be exercised to grow. The spiritual gift of faith, for example, is not just a feeling or a mood; it is a principle of action that frequently appears in the scriptures linked to the verb exercise. Just as reading and learning about muscles is not enough to build muscle, reading and learning about faith without adding action is insufficient to build faith."

 By Elder Juan Pablo Villar Of the Seventy "Exercising Our Spiritual Muscles" April 2019 general conference.